“It’s me, brother! Don’t kill me!”

Thump thump. Thump thump.

All is still– except for the beating hearts of the living.

Darkness is nothing abnormal at this time of night. There appears to be a specific 12 hours dedicated to darkness. A time where one’s true colours are shone upon. A time where one is exposed to others in a seemingly endless slumber with no control over his actions. Until it happens.

Thump thump thump.


Most people here sleep with their doors open. It’s not like someone would come in and rob anything. There’s nothing to rob here. Besides, almost every house has some sort of defense line up. Some sort of weapon crafted with the wrong intentions. It’s the norm. Some sleep outside on traditional beds. These are wooden frames with stylistic legs, topped with woven fabric. No one needs a mattress. No one needs the comfort of a mattress. It’s not like it would do anything to stop it from coming.

The haunting breeze crawls over his skin, as a lizard does on the walls of the house. It hums a soft blur of whispers. Whispers of the unconscious. Whispers of those whose hearts aren’t beating. Whispers of those who are silenced at daylight.

He‘s stirring in his slumber. He‘s stirring in his slumber. It’s happening.

He pushes the blanket away with his feet, and sits up. His posture seems manufactured, it’s too perfect. He turns to the side of the bed, steps one foot, then the other. He has no choice. His intellectual mind can’t save him or his brother now. His body is controlling his actions. He has been predestined to submit to this truth.

He uses his hands to push up against the bed, and steps one foot in front of the other. Not that he knows what he’s doing. He moves with such intriguing, charismatic grace that one doesn’t want to think of this as unfair.

It’s unfair that his body is doing the walking, and his mind can’t do the talking.

The brother lies asleep on the bed outside. His sound snores accompany the breeze in conversation, breaking the status quo of silence on that particular night. The brother is unaware of an upcoming interruption.

He moves some more, steps still taken with such superficial movements, not a single twitch. He moves toward his brother, making some faint grumbling noises. This is what cuts the conversation.

His brother is startled, and his unconsciousness is wearing off. The brother rubs his eyes and finds him in front of him. Standing. Eyes closed.

“Brother?” he calls, his stream of natural consciousness rushing back at the sight of him. He takes no notice of his brother, and instead bends down, it seems as though he is reaching for something.

“What are you doing?” Dumbfounded, the brother oddly finds that the uneasiness from this sight settles with one-sided conversation. He is reaching for the weapon hidden underneath the bed. A weapon invented to kill.

He picks up the gun, grasping it tightly in his fingers. His knuckles turn white.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

“Brother! What are you doing?!” the brother calls out to him, urging him to wake up and break this spell. Instead, he turns the gun over in his hands. He points the gun in the direction of his brother’s head. The brother starts crying. He’s helpless. If he tries to touch him, it’s possible his chapter would be over. The brother starts praying. Praying that this unlikely turn of events will end, and this nightmare will stop.

“It’s me, brother! Don’t kill me!”

As if on cue, he tilts his head up. He lowers the crafted weapon to the ground, and slides it under the bed. Where it belonged. No one else would know this happened. He turns back the direction he came, back to his sleeping chamber. He slides back in bed.

The brother will now forever be trapped in fear when sleeping at night. Night equates to darkness. Darkness is a time where one’s true colours are shone upon.


At last, the darkness ceases. At the breakfast table, the brother looks traumatized, as if he was up all night seeing a ghost haunt him before his very eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asks, “You look like someone tried to kill you or something.” He chuckled.

“No, I’m NOT okay! You tried to kill me last night, and you’re just going to pretend it never happened?!” the brother seems like the crazy one here.

“You probably just saw a bad dream, or something. Now stop talking, and eat up.”




12 Replies to ““It’s me, brother! Don’t kill me!””

  1. Dear Sadia,
    I really loved reading this short story because of the amazing descriptions you added throughout which made me so engrossed in the story. Also I loved how you added dialogue in the story since it is something I struggle with in my own writing.

    Something I would suggest is making the story a little bit longer and just going over sentence structure and flow again. Other then that I really enjoyed reading your work and look forward to reading more of it in the future.

    1. Dear Aliza,

      Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my free choice for April! I’m thrilled to hear that you liked the descriptions I added here and there all over the text, which was intended to keep the reader engaged, so thanks! I hope you took inspiration from my writing to add dialogue into your own. I will totally consider your suggestion of length and structure for the future. Structure and flow is something I need to work on in my writing, so I’m glad that you mentioned it. Once again, thank you!



  2. Dear Sadia,

    Your writing is really good! The plot is super intriguing, and constantly left me wondering as to what will happen next. You handled the art and mystery of sleep-walking extremely well. The description you placed for the setting wants me to learn more. I found the use of the italicized font to be effective, whether it be from the pronouns or the sound of a beating heart. Overall, this is an eerie piece that I enjoyed.

    The only issue I have is the background for your blog, as the black trees cover the font and make it hard to read. I noticed that I had to read from the top of the page, as the background is white above. Changing this minor difference will make my reading experience more enjoyable.

    Cindy <3

    1. Dear Cindy,

      Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to read my free choice for April! I’m glad that you appreciate the plot I tried to construct around the idea of sleepwalking. I’ll admit, this was easier for me to write, as it is based off a true story of a sleepwalker in my family. I’m also happy to hear that you liked the italicized font, as I was experimenting with the physical style of elements of font. I will take your suggestion into consideration, as I do agree, the background makes reading difficult. The only reason I chose the background was because it fit with my blog theme. Once again, thank you!



  3. satelliteinorbit says: Reply

    Dear Sadia,

    I really like your writing! I like repetitions of “thump” and “a time” at the beginning and it set the tone of the piece. The suspense you created and the creepiness of it made me want to keep reading to the end. The imagery was efficient and I could picture everything in my head.

    The one things I’d suggest are using “he” and “his” a little less and work a little on the flow. It got quite repetitive after a while and a little choppy at parts, but other than that, it was very well written.

    I hope to read more of your writing soon!


    1. Dear Caitlyn,

      Thanks a million for stopping by to read my blog post! Happy to hear that you liked the repetition of “thump” and “a time” in the beginning. I’ve struggled with suspense and foreshadowing in the past, so it’s refreshing to see someone appreciating my efforts and improvements. I will agree, though, on the fact that the overuse of “he” and “his” is repetitive, and will take your suggestion to further enhance my writing for the future. Once more, thank you for stopping by!



  4. Dear Sadia,

    WOW!!! I loved this piece! The haunting themes intertwined with suspense made this very interesting and engaging for the reader! I especially enjoyed how you came full circle by using the line “…time where one’s true colours are shone upon” at the begging and end.

    If there was one thing I might tweek is in your second paragraph the lines “Some sort of weapon crafted with the wrong intentions. It’s the norm.” are really well written but I would change using the word “norm” because it feels a bit to informal compared to the rest pf your writing. However I still really love the entire piece! I can not wait to read more of your incredible writing!

    Simran C.

    1. Dear Simran,

      First of all, thank you so much for dedicating time to read my short story! I am really pleased to hear that you love my piece, as there was some frustration behind writing it. I’m glad that you found my haunting themes fun to read, and I will agree that, I too, like the full circle I made at the end was effective. I will take your suggestion into consideration; thinking back on it, the word “norm” doesn’t really fit in, so thanks for the edit. A pleasure to have you stop by! Once again, thank you!



  5. bebeautybright says: Reply

    Dear Sadia,

    Can you please write a book soon or like a short story including all these suspenseful and haunting elements because I would really love to see that from you! This was some really great work and your fantastic at explaining your writing, which creates very strong imagery within in it as well. Through the whole of your piece, I was intrigued to keep on reading. I loved how you added the sound affects of the “thump thump thump..” I’ve always been scared of using onomatopoeias in my work as I think sometimes they can take away from the significance of what the author is trying to portray in their work, but your work just proved exactly the opposite.
    You are a superb writer but one of the things that I think that you could potentially enhance your work even more with would be to find a way to describe the feelings and what your character is going through in a way which it feels as though the reader is in the character’s head experiencing everything there going though, right along with them. For example a certain line I found was “The brother will now forever be trapped in fear when sleeping at night”. I feel as though there could have been a different maybe more effective way you could have said this to the audience reading, without having to tell what happend word for word. Could there be a way where you could describe how the brother felt without directly telling the audience? I understand that’s hard to do but I think it would really make this read even more brighter than it already is.
    All in all, your writing is amazing and I hope to read more of your fantastic work in the future!


    1. Dear Arzoo,

      Thank you so much for the nice comment; this is probably one of the biggest compliments I’ve received on my writing thus far, so thank you! I’m glad that you liked the haunting elements in my piece. This short story was merely an experimentation of horror, style, and just use of diction in general. I hope I inspired you to use onomatopoeias in your writing, as it can make it a bit playful sometimes. I will totally take your suggestion into consideration; I’m not sure how I’ll be able to execute the idea of writing how the character is feeling, but I’ll be sure to try it sometime and see where it takes me. Once again, thank you for leaving the wonderful comment, and I hope to be able to read more of your own work in the future!



  6. Dear Sadia,

    I enjoyed reading your entire piece. It caught my attention immediately and I did not stop reading it. I loved the use of imagery you included especially in the line,”He moves with such intriguing, charismatic grace that one doesn’t want to think of this as unfair.” This line made me want to read more of your writing. I liked how you italicized are capitalized your words to emphasize what you were writing.

    To make your writing even better, I would recommend adding more description in some areas especially when it comes to the brothers reaction when his sleepwalking brother points a gun at him. Other than that little recommendation I thought your writing was great.

    Overall, I really liked reading your piece and hope to read more of your upcoming pieces in the future.



    1. Dear Mariam,

      Thank you so much for reading my free choice for April! I am truly pleased to hear that you enjoyed reading my piece, as there was some frustration behind writing it. I’m thrilled to hear that you appreciate the stylistic elements I tried to incorporate by using the italics and capitalization. In the past, I have struggled a bit with imagery and description in specific areas where adding it would make my writing so much better, so I’m glad that you gave this suggestion. I will gladly take your suggestion into consideration. I can’t thank you enough for reading my post, and I hope to read some of your pieces in the future as well!



Leave a Reply to sadia58 Cancel reply